What I'd miss the most

Have you ever had something that you've taken for granted? I mean something you really take for granted...something that you one day realize you can't possibly do without, something you would miss the most?

It would be hard for me to give up cookie dough. A life without a soccer ball would be boring. Pillows would be missed. Air conditioning is a definite need. Lightning bugs, summer nights, camp fires, salty breezes, colored leaves in fall, thunderstorms...

But I think what I'd miss most is memory. Without it I couldn't make my list of things I'd miss. Without it none of those things on that list would matter. I'd miss those things because of the memories I associate with them. Happy memories (happy thoughts) are what made Peter Pan fly in Hook right?! Memory!

Several months ago I spent much of my time with a couple individuals very close to me who struggle with memory. Because of their challenges I found myself sometimes not as patient as I should be and when I said "I love you" I was as much reminding myself that I love them as I was telling them. I would hug them before going to sleep and tell them again I love them knowing that they might not remember that but maybe if I say it enough it will sink in. This last month I took care of a woman with dementia and I remember how much I would miss my memories.

A lesson I'm learning this semester is the power of memory. This semester in a lot of ways is a repeat of my first semester out here. And some how I have forgotten how He carried me through then and  I find old doubts, fears, and frustrations creeping in. Why is it so hard to remember? To remember miraculously passing test after test? To remember tender mercies on every corner? To remember angels on my right hand and on my left (and over the phone :)? Why is it hard to remember Him catching me every time I'd fall? I guess that's one reason I write these silly things: to help me remember. If He did it before He will do it again. I just need to remember and trust in good things to come.

 

" And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted of his love...I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God... And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true....And now, O man, remember and perish not!" Mosiah 4